We are now on the move toward the summer. The weather appears to be more consistently like we expect it to be in spring. All around us people are wearing beautiful pastels and the dreary overcoats seem to have disappeared. There is lots of talk about summer vacations, trips here and there. For many people, there are plans for connecting with family at the “family reunion” or friends in far away places. Connecting with and relating to others - the topic of today.

If you have never met anyone who is truly alone in the world, you can not know what they experience, and simply meeting them won’t make you truly knowledgeable regarding their situation. One thing that meeting a person who is alone will do is make you absolutely grateful for all of your relationships with others - even for those with whom you have difficulty. The question you want to ask such a person is how did this happen? The reasons are varied, but they may include never learning to socialize with others, the deaths of significant relatives or geography. People move away from their family homes for many reasons. Establishing relationships is not something that can be taken for granted and yet, we do.

As we grow older, we face the loss of loved ones because death is, as some say, a part of living. We need to make sure that we maintain the skills of relating to others. Many of us have our friends and family, period; no one else needs to apply. This posture puts us at risk for becoming alone in the world, as we don’t have control over how long “our” group will be around. We need to think of our relationships like gardens where we grow perennials and annuals. Gardens are nurtured and added to on a regular basis so that the plants stay strong and healthy. We love to look at a well tended garden. The diversity we find in the types of plants can also be found in the types of relationships we have. Relationships are perhaps the gardens of our lives.

Take time out from all of your busyness, priorities and stress to reach out and make connections. We have long heard that “No man is an Island ,” but that does not seem to be completely true. I think perhaps we can say no man is destined to be an island. Do you ever notice yourself thinking that you do not want to be “bothered” with this one or that one? Do you find yourself knowing more about the characters on a television series than you do about your immediate neighbors? Is your long distance phone bill less than $10 a month? Are you proud to announce that you do not “do” email? If you are doing these things frequently, maybe it is time to take a time out from those isolating behaviors. Maybe it is time to be bothered just a bit. It is very possible that you will be gratified and not bothered. Getting into a rut takes time, but we have the power to get out, phone call by phone call. We can relate to others on some level and enhance our skills when necessary. Simply sending an old friend a card with a note (please don’t just sign your name) is a great way to open a door to jumpstart communication. Maybe we need to establish our own calendar of “take a friend to lunch” days.

Do think about these kind words as it is not possible to pick flowers that have not been planted. Connecting requires an effort - it is proactive behavior; relationships can require patience and understanding. The time to call that friend or relative is now. You too can have a beautiful bouquet in your hands and even more importantly, in your heart.

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