In the second half of our life we are all closer to the end than the beginning. This should not scare us, but it should be a wake-up call to seize the moment and not waste time. As in every adult developmental period, focus and intention are crucial. We have to ask ourselves where and how we will derive meaning in life, and once we are aware of this we need to follow through with decisive action.

I am 57 years old, married for 22 years, with three children (ages 8, 11, 16), and four cats and two dogs. I am the Director of the Institute for Integrated Feeling Therapy in New York. Dr. Lynn and I met at a conference in New York recently and were drawn to each other because clearly we are kindred spirits who realize that when you cut through all the psychological jargon and theories, therapy must teach people how to love and be loved. We might go about it differently but the focus is the same. This is crucial in helping adults in the second half of life. The only thing we ultimately have any control of in life is our "attitude." At this stage we have all lost friends and family, had successes and failures, experienced great joy and intense sorrow and survived it all. For me, this is by far the best time of my life. I am operating on all cylinders and am determined to remain this way for as long as possible. I have learned that creativity is crucial and that getting older shouldn’t stop us from leading a fulfilling life. We just can’t waste time in meaningless endeavors or with people who aren’t healthy for us to be with. I believe that if we learn from the first half of our life then the second half can easily be a more fulfilling, contented, happier time and very different than the standard depressive retirement our society has led us to expect.

As I said previously, creativity is crucial. Bob Dylan wrote, “He not busy being born is busy dying.” I believe that Dylan’s insight and my philosophy are identical. We are either involved in life affirming activities so that our energy is expansive or we are dying a slow death. Don’t listen to all the negative voices in your head that say “you’re too old” to learn an instrument or take a continuing education class in art or computers. Our minds and our bodies need to be stimulated and exercised. Exercise your body to the level you are able: adult yoga, swimming, tennis, golf, carpentry, gardening, or one of my favorites, walking. Most importantly, never “give up” to the aging process. Listen to it, learn from it, but don’t give up to it. I mentioned that my family has four cats and two dogs. If you live alone, having an animal around to love and take care of can be very therapeutic. As a matter of fact, I grew up without pets, and I am enjoying having more of them as I get older. Pick a cat or dog that doesn’t need to run, but enjoys walking with you or sitting on your lap being pet. The affection you give to each other gives you a feeling of positive warmth and happens to be scientifically documented to be therapeutic for your immune system and sense of well-being… I highly recommend having a pet!

I hope this brief article provides some inspiration to you. I know there is any number of things to be sad about in our world. We are all suffering in some way. The answer is not to avoid suffering, because that is not possible. The answer lies in our attitude towards our life. Seize life whenever you can. Live life as fully as possible. Listen to the voice inside that says “do what you can do.” Don’t listen to the voice inside that says “you’re too old.” Stay involved with life, and life will stay involved with you. Share your love and wisdom and creativity, and in return you will find that that the second half of your life will take on a richness you previously thought not possible.

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