Fifty & Furthermore

‘Sexpert’ Tackles ‘Sex after Sixty’ at Senior Center

By Amy Trent
From The News & Advance 04.13.12

Producing a bowl of brightly colored condoms from her small stash of props, Doree Lynn got right down to business.

“Sex is your birthright; it keeps you healthy,” said Lynn, a Georgetown-based clinical psychologist and “sexpert” who specializes on an issue she said is too overlooked — sex in later life.

Lynn made a special trip to Lynchburg on Friday to meet with Lynchburg College students and seniors at the Templeton Senior Center for “Sex After Sixty,” where she touched on everything from safe sex and sexual aids to the importance of communication and the power of human touch.

“Sex drive hormones do tend to fade with age, but our core sexuality never goes away,” she said. » Read the rest of this entry «

Toys for GrownUps

Psssst. Wanna know a secret?  Grownups, even some very grownup grownups, are playing . . . with sex toys! In fact, there is a sexual revolution occurring for people over the age of 50.

Adult sex toys, pornography, erotic literature, game playing, and other pleasure products and practices have become much more mainstream than ever before. This is good news for those in good health because sex toys can add fun and excitement to adult life. » Read the rest of this entry «

Bravo, Pornography!

Porn is one of those concepts that evokes immediate reactions, pro or con, sometimes sending otherwise seemingly sane people into screaming fits. In my view, Porn, as with everything else sexual, is in itself neither good nor bad. When one is addicted to Porn to the exclusion of the ability to have a relationship, or uses is to hurt others, obviously it’s not one of my top ten picks for your road to health. However, when used mutually by two consulting adults, it can help heat up your sex life and keep that oh so elusive long-term intimacy alive. » Read the rest of this entry «

Never Forget That YOU Are a Catch!

Do you ever stop and think that right now, right this very second, that there is someone out there looking for you?  Someone whom you could like, maybe even love, is wondering where in the world you are.  You, just as you are right now, are exactly who he or she would like to get to know.  Stop thinking about how you’ve changed or thinned or spread or wrinkled or what you don’t like about yourself. (Everyone has a favorite negative body part or quality than they can spend hours obsessing about). Focus on the positive.  Shifting your attention to your best features, both physical and otherwise, will make you more confident and attractive.  There must be something you like about yourself!  Your eyes? Your easy smile? The sound of your voice?  Your quick intellect, or your sense of humor?  Sure, you may have some low self-esteem issues, but remember, so does everyone else.
» Read the rest of this entry «

I Heart NYC’s Safe Sex Education Mandate
by Dr. Dorree Lynn
From VibrantNation.com 08.22.11

NYC + Safe Sex Education = Attention Getter!

If there were ever two topics that make my heart jump, they would be “New York City” and “Safe Sex” and when you put them in the same sentence, well, you’ve got my attention!  You can imagine my excitement when I saw a post on Huffington Post this morning about New York City’s Sex Education mandate. *(you can read the article here)

To sum up the article by Anna M. Phillips, NYC’s public middle and high school students will be required to take sex-education classes which include lessons on how to use condoms, pregnancy and STD prevention and the appropriate age for sexual activity.

Now mind you, the new mandate is part of Bloomberg’s attempt to improve the lives of black and Latino teenagers (a demographic that statistically experiences fare more unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases than their white counterparts).  Whatever the reason, it’s a step in the right direction for all demographics.

Anna. M. Phillips further explained in her article that, “Nationwide, one in four teenagers between 2006 and 2008 learned about abstinence without receiving any instruction in schools about contraceptive methods, according to the Guttmacher Institute.”  We all know that, as kids, we always did what we were told not to do, if for no other reason than because we were curious to find out why we shouldn’t do it and what might happen if we did.

Teaching students abstinence without supplementing it with further information is like leaving the keys in your car and telling your child not to drive it, and not explaining that if they do drive it they need to keep the wheel straight, lay off the gas, use the brakes, and keep it under 70.

But the Big Apple is doing one better and taking it up a notch, in that way that New York has of one-upping everyone else.  The city’s new mandate exceeds the state’s requirement that middle and high school students take at least one semester of health education classes and calls for schools to teach one semester in the 6th or 7th grade level and again in the 9th or 10th grade level.  Double the education, double the chances of success!

I know what you’re thinking:  “Dr. Lynn, how does this fit into your message about safe sex education for older folks?”  Actually everything!  Stretch your imagination a bit.  We desperately need the same types of programs for those over 50 who happen to be the fastest growing HIV/STD population in America.  These are the same types of programs that adults need, not just in NYC.  As I said, it’s a step in the right direction.  Mandating sexual education courses in middle and high schools starts the debate on whether or not sex should be taught in schools, and adults are typically the ones having the debate.  Therefore, the topic and the message gets out there that safe sex is still a major issue.  Additionally, parents and grandparents become engaged in the conversation, both with one another and with their kids/grand-kids.

In the end, it’s half about the public fight for safe sex education for the children that “are the future” of America, and half about the actual in-class education.  And any action to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases is one worth fighting for!

Link: http://www.vibrantnation.com/love-sex/sexual-health/i-heart-nycs-safe-sex-education-mandate/

Sex You Could Die For

By Barbara Salter
From Forever Young Magazine 08.05.11

As more Boomers–either widowed or divorced–are having sex with new partners, a lack of education and communication is resulting an a rising number of STDs and HIV!

Read the whole article by clicking the link!

Tantric sex is a method of intimacy that focuses on an increased spiritual awareness and erotic energy. It can be practiced alone, or with a lover. Think of Tantric Sex as a dance with no beginning and no end. There is no rush to the finish line; it is meditative, expressive, creative and intimate.

Talk to your lover about what he/she finds most erotic and exciting. Build trust and explore the conversations and see where they lead you. Make time for each other every week, find special alone time and create an environment suited for love. Try candles, erotic art, sensual foods, and music. Dress (or undress) in a way that makes you feel treasured and attractive. Try bathing together, or sharing a glass of wine in the nude. You can wash suds over your lover, or try a massage. Some couples enjoy dancing, reading poetry or other special intimate activities.

Sit cross-legged in front of your lover, gazing into each other’s eyes, resting your hands on your knees with palms up. Take soft deep breaths, and look into your partner’s soul with a gentle gaze. (This is sure to feel strange and uncomfortable at first, but that’s okay.) Synchronize your breathing, inhaling through the nose and out through the mouth, keeping eye contact the entire time. Stay with it, don’t give up. Once you get over the giggles or awkwardness, you can practice and start to feel the flow of energy and intimacy. Then comes soft loving caresses, and expressions/preferences for what each partner wants. Gently guide one another, and whisper words of praise and encouragement. You know the rest! You may Google “Tantric Sex” for more detailed techniques that go beyond second base. The techniques to remember are taking long, slow deep breaths and enjoying the magic of the moment. There are no rules here, just emotional, spiritual and physical bonding.

This is a wonderful possibility for those of us over 50 who find that we are ready to slow down, not go so fast, and make the moment last. Celebrity couple Sting and his wife Trudy are proponents of tantric sex. In an interview in the Guardian he was asked to give readers a few tips. “He looks indignant and says it’s about ‘a journey, not ‘f—ing for eight hours”’ OK, I say. ‘I try to be lighthearted about it,’ he says, ‘but at the same time, there is some serious information about couples and how they can relate and sex is only a tiny proportion of it. It’s about ritualizing a period of the day with your partner; it can be about (simply) looking at each other…”

Tantric sex is a method of intimacy that focuses on an increased spiritual awareness and erotic energy. It can be practiced alone, or with a lover. Think of Tantric Sex as a dance with no beginning and no end. There is no rush to the finish line; it is meditative, expressive, creative and intimate. Tantric [...]

Birds Do It
And So Do We!

By Dr. Dorree Lynn
From Grand Magazine 07/08 2011

Click to see screenshot from GrandMagazine online.

“Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it,” wrote Cole Porter. Well, so do we grands.

The difference is, if you expect to make love the same way you did when hormones were your propelling force, forget it. Fifty-plus togetherness takes a different kind of motivation. Yes, we have pills, Kegel exercises, hormone replacements and titillating flicks, and of course we all know that healthy diets and exercise help. But what really makes the difference is the way we think about it all.

The birds and the bees for upbeat grands

1. The brain is your major sex organ. If what’s below your belt doesn’t work the way it once did, change your thinking about sex. Sex is all about process, not only the goal.

2. Learn to cherish your sensuality. Remember Marvin Gaye’s songs “Let’s Get It On” and “Sexual Healing”? Now we can understand what that sexy guy was singing about.

3. Make sure you are in good health. Get a total physical before trying anything new.

4. Exercise gets your brain’s serotonin swaying, your circulation flowing and your muscles moving. Do a little or a lot, but do something.

5. Eating well and losing those few extra pounds will not only help keep you healthy, it will make you feel sexier.

6. Guys: Let science help you where nature has left off. You may find your erections aren’t as firm or frequent as they once were. This is normal. Don’t be afraid to use erection aids if prescribed. Caution though: Not every prescription works for every man, and most don’t work all the time. Genuine desire is still your best ally.

7. Ladies: If you need a little help, try over-the-counter lubricating products like Astroglide, K-Y Jelly or any of the many new products out there. Vaseline is a no-no. Try what’s commonly used for cooking, Crisco. It’s soluble, a great lubricant, inexpensive, easy to find in any supermarket, and can heat up the bedroom to a sizzling boiling point.

8. Communication keeps sex alive and comes in many forms. Sometimes a simple gesture, a loving comment or even an afternoon in the park can be very sexy.

9. Become a good listener – to yourself. Think about your feelings, your values and your knowledge. If you are shy and confused by the new you, this is to be expected. You may not know what you want now. That’s fine. Start to talk to your friends, read the latest medical information, surf the web, and fact-check before you believe anything you are told.

10. It’s a statistical fact: Good sex and good relationships help keep people happier, healthier and living longer.

Dr. Dorree Lynn is a Georgetown-based psychologist and the author of Sex for Grownups.

Link: http://www.grandmagazine.com/article.asp?id=509