Tantric sex is a method of intimacy that focuses on an increased spiritual awareness and erotic energy. It can be practiced alone, or with a lover. Think of Tantric Sex as a dance with no beginning and no end. There is no rush to the finish line; it is meditative, expressive, creative and intimate. Tantric [...]
Tantric Sex 101
July 13th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
YourTango.com: Granny Get Your Groove On: Sex Gets Better After 50
June 27th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
Granny Get Your Groove On: Sex Gets Better After 50
It’s the wonderful and often confusing world of sex for those of us who are long past being kids. When it comes to the topic of sex after 50 there are typically two camps: those who smile inwardly knowing that grown-up sex is like a fine wine that only gets better with age, and those who shockingly ask, “Sex after fifty? Does it really exist?”The truth is that sex after 50 does exist, and can exist in your relationship too. And though it may be a little bit different than when you were in your 20s and 30s, it can actually be better than before!
I’ve been a practicing psychologist for over 40 years, working with men and women every day who find that sex has become boring, or more like a chore than a treat. Often, people over 50 quietly worry about a myriad of sexual issues that are more common than most people might think.
For example, women: do you find your mind wandering away from the bedroom and closer to thoughts of your graying hair, widening waistline, or sagging boobs? To the point where you would rather undress in the closet, with the lights out, during a lunar eclipse?
Men: do you worry about being able to get it up and then keep it up when you’re in bed with your lover? Perhaps you’re self-conscious because your penis doesn’t seem as big as it used to be, or that it’s gone from being your best friend to a more inconsistent and less cooperative part of your body?
It’s easy to think there is something wrong with us now that we’ve gotten older and can’t / don’t perform like athletes in bed. In truth, it’s perfectly natural for our bodies to change as we age. And that means that sex has to evolve with our own aging bodies. But with some new information and willingness to experiment, sex can turn out to be an unexpected gift, and you might realize that you’re better at it than you realized.
In fact, we can remain sexually fulfilled beings as long as we are alive. Sex makes the world go round. It is our essential life force, within us through every age and every stage of life. Lifelong sex is what sets us apart from all other species.
While it’s true that sex does change as our sex-drive hormones begin to fade after 50, our core sexuality lasts a lifetime. Sex NEVER dies! Sex is too primal, pleasurable, and good for us to give up without a battle. At any age, sex can keep you healthier and may help you forget about your worldly woes for a while. After 50 (and even after 90) we don’t need to toss out our condoms and hang up our vibrators as we grow older and wiser. Sex and sensuality are integral and permanent to life, and there is no reason, if we are physically able, not to enjoy both for the rest of our days.
Link: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/dr-dorree-lynn/granny-get-your-groove
YourTango.com: Is The Girl I’m Dating More Trouble Than She’s Worth?
June 27th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
Is The Girl I’m Dating More Trouble Than She’s Worth?
By Dr Dorree Lynn
From YourTango.com
Wouldn’t it be great to have a crystal ball? Or X-Ray glasses that allowed us to see the truth and the baggage of the person we’re trying to date? In reality, all we can do is work on knowing what we want and pay attention to what another brings to the table. If you’re alert and intuitive, you can tell a lot about the other person in the first hour or so of meeting them, and certainly within the first few dates.Keep in mind that nobody is perfect and we all have our problems. Whoever you’re dating will inevitably have some less-than-desirable personality traits and for sure won’t be the same ones you have. So there will be a few challenges you don’t currently have. On the other hand, you can also have a lot of fun, gain a lot of happiness and comfort you cannot create for yourself just by being alone.
By the time we hit 50, we all have a certain level of baggage…some in Louis Vuitton, some in bargain-bin plastic bags. The trick is finding someone who equally accepts that you have just as much baggage as they do, and is willing to help you carry it along the way.
Link: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/dr-dorree-lynn/girl-im-dating-more-trouble-shes-worth
YourTango.com: 7 Male Myths About Sex
June 27th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
7 Male Myths About Sex
By Dr Dorree Lynn
From YourTango.com
Male Myth #1: It’s not sex unless you have intercourse.FALSE! Sex is more than hitting the target’s bull’s eye.
Male Myth #2: It’s not sex unless you have an orgasm.
FALSE! Sex is an attitude & self image. An “I love you” qualifies as sex, as does a caring caress.)
Male Myth #3: Sex is performance. You either succeed or fail.
FALSE! Sex is a process, not a goal.
Male Myth #4: Men don’t express feelings.
FALSE! Sort of. Most men prefer to fix a problem rather than to discuss it, but many will open if you open the dialogue in a non-confrontational way.
Male Myth #5: All sexual feelings have an end goal.
FALSE! Feelings are different from actions. Most men have feelings and fantasies that they don’t always act on.
Male Myth #6: Men always have to initiate sex.
FALSE! Each partner is equally responsible for starting the process.
Male Myth #7: Men can’t have multiple orgasms.
FALSE! With rest and relaxation, many men can orgasm more than once.
Link: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/dr-dorree-lynn/7-male-myths-about-sex
YourTango.com: Great Sex. Horrible Kisser.
June 27th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
Great Sex. Horrible Kisser.
By Dr Dorree Lynn
From YourTango.com
We’ve all been there…the notorious BAD KISSER! And it really doesn’t matter how gorgeous he is, how much money he has, the car he drives, or even the equipment he’s working with and how he uses it. If a man’s a bad kisser, that can easily dominate the situation and make everything else a moot point.So what is a damsel in distress suppose to do about a lousy lip-locker? Well, we’ve all heard the expression, “You can’t change someone, so just love them as they are.” Well, that’s only partly true. Who says you can’t teach an old kisser new tricks? In many ways, we teach our partners just as much as they teach us about how to make love in a new way that’s essentially a melding of the two styles into one.
Try telling your boyfriend that you love having sex with him but you want to experiment with new styles of foreplay and kissing (kissing is, in many ways, foreplay). Or ask him to try changing one specific thing like holding his breath or keeping his lips more rigid or more soft. The trick is to communicate in a relaxed manor, experiment in a fun way, and to give feedback to one another to make sure you’re on the same page and enjoying the act equally together.
When it comes to what makes sex work, touching and kissing are almost tied for first place. Kissing can be magical! Whether it’s your first kiss with a new partner or the last kiss with an old love, kissing can be magical. On the other hand, kissing can become boring and routine. The good news is that there are a million ways to execute a great kiss.
Come to think of it, why should you stick with the same way of kissing for your entire life? Maybe you’ve always preferred a gentle kiss on the cheek or a peck on the lips. Maybe you’ve grown out of the deep tongue-dancing “French” kisses we all started with as adolescents. Don’t be afraid to switch it up, tone it down, or twist it a bit to make it more fun and exciting.
Kissing, like sex, should be fun. It should be exciting. It can be done casually as a “goodbye kiss” or intensely as a “hello kiss.” It’s never too late to change how you like it, or how you like it done to you. So play with it a bit and see what works best for you–gentle pecks, deep soul-kissing, quickie kisses, butterfly kisses, or almost kisses (the kind of kiss that’s more about the anticipation of lips touching rather than the touch itself). Try something new and see what happens!
Link: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/dr-dorree-lynn/great-sex-horrible-kisser
YourTango.com: She’s a Kennedy for Cryin’ Out Loud!
June 27th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
She’s a Kennedy for Cryin’ Out Loud!
By Dr. Dorree Lynn
From YourTango.com
As if “Kennedy” and “sex” didn’t already go so well together in a sentence, now Arnold Schwarzennegger (who became a wannabe-honorary Kennedy by marrying Maria Shriver Kennedy) has publicly announced that not only did he violate his marriage with Maria, but that he had actually fathered a child…with a member of the house staff…and that it all happened TEN YEARS AGO!
Boy, those Kennedys! They’re rich, some are gorgeous, and others screwed around with everyone they could get their hands on. But the Kennedys are in a class of their own. Despite how they live in public, or in private, they manage to keep an heir of dignity about themselves that in some ways either helps the public deal with Kennedy antics, or at least, in some way, accept them.
Maria Shriver Kennedy is no exception. She’s gorgeous, famous, and in the middle of a huge embarrassing mess. But you can’t feel bad for Maria, that would only give Arnold the power. She’s a big girl, she’s still got her looks and her reputation…she’s a KENNEDY for crying out loud! She’s going to be just fine and I won’t give her one reason to feel embarrassed.
But some could argue, “Eh, it happens.” I’m sure it somehow fits into the “wholesome family values” that Arnold and his red-state buddies mount their campaigns on. But this isn’t an attack piece on politics, this is a praise to Maria Shriver. Bless her heart, she had to have known. How could she not? Arnold was famous for being a womanizer and frequently disrespected Maria in public (according to reports). And if she did know–if she took a page out of Hillary’s book, “How to Be a Lady Despite Your Man” (*not a real Hillary Clinton book, for humor purposes only!)–then more power to you, Sister Maria, for knowing how to put things into perspective, play the long-term game, and come out on top!
Link: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/dr-dorree-lynn/shes-kennedy-cryin-out-loud
YourTango.com: Why Travel? 8 Benefits Of A Great Vacation
June 27th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
Why Travel? 8 Benefits Of A Great Vacation
By Anne Crowley, Johanna Lyman , Dr Dorree Lynn
From YourTango.com
Everybody needs a little time away, or so the song goes. Traveling has benefits for everyone: it opens our minds to new thoughts, allows us to unplug and step into something far more relaxing and pleasing to the senses than the everyday hustle and bustle. For couples and families, it’s a particularly special time for reconnection and intimacy.
Need more convincing? YourTango Experts has put together the top 8 relationship benefits of a great vacation.
1. Better sex. Relationships take attention and care, which are often sacrificed during daily life. Traveling as a couple encourages spontaneity, experimentation and relaxation. Three critical components to sexual satisfaction, and together they can add an infusion of zest into a sagging sex life. 5 Tips For Having Sex During A Family Vacation
2. Distraction-free connection. When you vacation together, you have time to really talk, not just report about work and family issues. You reconnect with the energy that drew you to each other in the first place and have a chance to fall in love all over again.
3. More fun! Often as adults we’re so tied to our responsibilities that we forget to take some time to stop and enjoy life. Vacationing offers the freedom to play, laugh, connect, be silly and otherwise tap into those parts of yourself that are neglected when you’re busy being “responsible” in your real life.
4. Better problem solving. Traveling encourages you to relax. A relaxed mind is capable of better problem solving, greater awareness and more open-minded thinking. All of which go a long way towards living a more manageable life and relationship.
5. “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” Traveling allows you to forget so you can remember. As you step away from your usual routine—and the people involved in it—you begin to miss and remember the things you love about your home, job, friends and family and you reconnect with your desires to be around them. This can inspire you to return home with renewed energy for the life you’ve created.
6. Open minds lead to open hearts. Travel opens you up to greater learning and compassion. By visiting foreign countries, practicing different languages and seeing new landscapes, your world becomes a much more robust place. Travel nourishes the soul when it’s done right, so prepare yourself with good planning.
Two bonus benefits:
1. Parents need time-outs, too. Traveling without your kids is not only OK, it’s encouraged from time to time. By taking time away from your kids, they get to connect with other adults who love them and you get to reconnect with yourself outside of your parenting role. Being a parent is such an incredible experience, that it’s hard to imagine “not” being a parent. If you can take even a few days to step away and recharge, your relationship will be stronger for it. 5 Innovative Ways To Bond As A Family
2. “Me” time. It’s also OK to travel solo! You can recharge your batteries when you take time to yourself. You’ll come back better-equipped to be a good parent and partner after putting yourself first for a change. Many people find they’ve forgotten their own identity, strengths and challenges as they settle into their coupledom. Traveling alone gives you the opportunity to learn, live and spread your wings.
Link: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/jm-henderson/why-travel-8-benefits-great-vacation
YourTango.com: The Mystery Disease That Would Define a Generation
June 27th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
The Mystery Disease That Would Define a Generation
By Dr. Dorree Lynn
From YourTango.com
30 years ago a doctor was confounded by symptoms he had never seen before. Cutting to the chase, he is credited with labeling the first AIDS case in America for what it was: a horrifyingly carnivorous disease that took thousands of lives, initially mostly homosexuals, and started a revolution. Not only did AIDS research begin in earnest and result in life-saving gains, but same-sex partners pioneered health care breakthroughs that benefited a nation. It also paved the way for a previously underground and shamed generation of LBGT’s to open their closet doors, leave their shadowed existence with their heads held high (well in most states) and walk, work and live productively and lovingly among the rest of us.
But the challenge is far from over. Though great strides have been made to educate and provide support to this previously hidden population of young men and women, paradoxically, it’s now parents and even grandparents who have become the silent secret sufferers between the sheets. The world has flipped and now it’s mom, dad, grandma Lizzy and grandpa Luke who are at greatest risk.
Condoms make a huge difference, but the older generation still thinks condoms are for procreation protection. Also, they have now become a new generation of daters filled with sex-sublimation and shame.
Whoever thought that sexy seniors, once judgmental of the young, would be the fastest growing population in the nation to contract HIV/AIDS and other STDs?
Men and women who are new to the dating scene are most at risk, and those suffering memory loss in retirement villages and nursing homes experience only a lack of inhibition, not desire or activity.
30 years later we have a new closet to open. One that is full of secrets that need to be shouted out loud. We need safe sex education for those least aware and most at risk–our venerated elders who, thankfully, remain sexy after all these years. A sexy, savvy senior myself, I plead on the behalf of all other seniors that we educate. Educate their grown children. Educate those afraid of the legal system. Educate America. Sex is our life-long birthright. Let’s use it and not lose it to disease.
Link: http://www.yourtango.com/201178293/mystery-disease-would-define-generation
YourTango.com: Why Gay Rights Make Me Proud (Even Though I’m Straight)
June 27th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
Why Gay Rights Make Me Proud (Even Though I’m Straight)
By Dr. Dorree Lynn
From YourTango.com
To those of a younger generation it may seem at times that things haven’t changed much in terms of gay rights. But ask any older individual and they’ll shed light on the trials, struggles, and advances that have been made in the past 60 years. For, as I stood on the sidewalk in Dupont Circle in our nation’s capital this past weekend, watching as thousands of proud gays and their straight allies marched down P Street, I couldn’t help but cry tears of joy.
My ex and I lived in “The Village” in New York in the 1960’s. We would eat at our favorite neighborhood bar, Stonewalls. I was straight, most others were gay, but the food was good and the atmosphere was delightful. Then, one night in 1969, as Miss Sylvia Rivera threw her shoe at police in protest of their trying to shut down the Stonewall bar, everything changed and life for Gays in America was never the same.
It was the beginning of a movement that for me, 42 years later culminated in seeing the DC Gay Pride Parade. As I watched young and old alike march with pride during the parade, floats adorned with decorations and decorated men and women, banners and posters held high, I flashed back to my days in NYC, the riots, the AIDS epidemic, and the years between then and now. Suddenly I felt old, but not in a negative way. I was reminded of all I’ve lived through, seen, and survived.
Days after Tracy Morgan’s “I’d stab my son with a knife if he told me he was gay” homophobic rant, I was standing shoulder-to-shoulder with thousands of people with hearts bigger than science could ever justify. A woman who couldn’t have been much older than me carried a hand-made poster that read, “I LOVE MY GAY SON!” Children of both gay and straight couples lined the streets awaiting candy and beads being tossed from floats. Music pumped through the streets and alleyways. Smiles adorned faces. It was “gay” in every sense and definition of the word.
As I watched the young and joyous and the old and youthful walk from DuPont Circle to P Street, I felt more like a well-worn, wise repository of history. While many were screaming about all that has yet to be changed, I swelled with pride and cried for all I’ve seen accomplished. It’s a new world, one with possibility and potential and hope. And while this weekend’s events were aimed at celebrating the lives of homosexuals and the LGBT-movement, it illustrated love and acceptance so thick in the air that it was almost tangible, and with a little imagination you could literally reach out and grab it, feel it and hold it with your own hands. It was a reminder of why we live, not just that we are alive. It was a call to action to live with gusto, to love with joy, and to be proud out loud.
Link: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/dr-dorree-lynn/something-be-proud
YourTango.com: Forgive Me Father, for I Have Son’d
June 27th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
Forgive Me Father, for I Have Son’d
By Dr. Dorree Lynn
From YourTango.com
I’ve written articles for Father’s Day virtually every year for the last century, but this year I thought I would have a contest amongst my staff to see who could best tribute their father. The following Father’s Day Tribute was written by my Social Media Manager, Troy Evans. Enjoy…
-Dr. Dorree Lynn
“Forgive Me Father, for I Have Son’d”
Dear Dad,
I hope this letter finds you well and in good health. I’ve been doing pretty good lately, thanks for the gas money and the card last week. Since it’s Father’s Day again, it seems the least I could do for you on this day is to level with you on a few things.
I’m certain that when you and mom were filling out the paperwork to adopt your only child 30 years ago, your vision of who I would grow up to be and the man I am today are not the same person. I never became that sports-minded young man with a generous career, a gorgeous fiancée and plans for a house full of children. Instead, I’m a gay marketing and media expert who holds two jobs, rents a room on the far side of town, is single and has no desire to have kids of my own.
I’ll be honest, dad, I hate Father’s Day. It’s the one day each year that I really beat myself up for all the times I did wrong by you. To everyone else but you, I’m rather easy to get along with, but as with most sons and their fathers we never really communicate all that well. We have different views on different things and, being my father’s son, neither of us ever lets the other have any slack to work with.
But, whether you know it or not, I’ve been watching you a lot closer over the past 7 years. And while I may not have grown to become the man you dreamed I would be, I’m pretty sure you’d be proud of the values and lessons you taught me over the years and and how I’ve used them to make my own life, and the lives of those around me, more fulfilling.
All the times you told me to treat others with respect, regardless of the situation, has stuck with me. I try not to cuss in front of women, I hold doors for people, I say thank you and “yes ma’am” even though many of these Yankees take offense to it. I try to do right, to be good, and to help out others whenever I can.
You see, any anger or frustration I’ve ever had towards you… that was on me. I didn’t understand you for the better part of my life. But looking back I can clearly see that every action you made always came from the heart. And having seen how the general population handles most situations, I can assure you that you are of a dieing breed and one that I am utterly grateful to have experienced.
I’ve never seen someone do for others what I’ve seen you do. We’ve all heard the expression, “He’d give the shirt off his back to someone who needed it.” Well, I’ve seen you give the shirt off your back to someone, literally. When a member of the family’s house burned down, although that person had treated you and mom poorly, you didn’t hesitate to load up the trailer with beds, clothes, and food and take it to them without asking for so much as a dime or an apology. “It don’t matter,” you said, “you can’t just leave ‘em hanging high and dry.” That’s a bold move, dad, and you didn’t think twice about it. When someone was hungry, you fed them. When they were homeless, you housed them. If they needed a job, you’d either put in a good word for them or put them to work around the house.
When it comes to expectations, we all have them. And a lot of times we get upset when our expectations aren’t met, even if it’s something little like a waiter messing up an order, or when the coffee pot doesn’t work when it’s suppose to (or if it overflows for some strange reason like yours does when you’re not watching it brew). But when I think about your expectations for me and how I never will grow to be the man you once hoped, I’m reminded that you always accepted me for who I am, you always helped me out when I needed it, and you’ve always stood beside me shoulder-to-shoulder.
Real people don’t do the things you do, dad. And it took me 28 years to realize that you’re not a real person. You’re something more than a real person. You’re some form of an angel or something. I don’t know exactly what it is, but I do know that you’re one of a kind and that God had something to do with it. And while we may never be able to build something together without fighting over nails vs screws, or fix the golf-car without arguing over how good or bad my welding skills are, or clean fish without you complaining about me leaving too much meat on the bone, I’ll always keep with me all of the honorable traits you’ve taught me over the years. And while I may never grow to have a wife as supportive and loving as mom is to you, or a career like yours that spanned continents and decades, or a community that looks up to me the way everyone looks up to you, if I can be half, or a third, or a quarter of the man you are then I’ll still be better than most. Happy Father’s Day.
Love,
Your Son
Link: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/dr-dorree-lynn/forgive-me-father-i-have-sond
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