August 22nd, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
I Heart NYC’s Safe Sex Education Mandate
by Dr. Dorree Lynn
From VibrantNation.com 08.22.11
NYC + Safe Sex Education = Attention Getter!
If there were ever two topics that make my heart jump, they would be “New York City” and “Safe Sex” and when you put them in the same sentence, well, you’ve got my attention! You can imagine my excitement when I saw a post on Huffington Post this morning about New York City’s Sex Education mandate. *(you can read the article here)
To sum up the article by Anna M. Phillips, NYC’s public middle and high school students will be required to take sex-education classes which include lessons on how to use condoms, pregnancy and STD prevention and the appropriate age for sexual activity.
Now mind you, the new mandate is part of Bloomberg’s attempt to improve the lives of black and Latino teenagers (a demographic that statistically experiences fare more unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases than their white counterparts). Whatever the reason, it’s a step in the right direction for all demographics.
Anna. M. Phillips further explained in her article that, “Nationwide, one in four teenagers between 2006 and 2008 learned about abstinence without receiving any instruction in schools about contraceptive methods, according to the Guttmacher Institute.” We all know that, as kids, we always did what we were told not to do, if for no other reason than because we were curious to find out why we shouldn’t do it and what might happen if we did.
Teaching students abstinence without supplementing it with further information is like leaving the keys in your car and telling your child not to drive it, and not explaining that if they do drive it they need to keep the wheel straight, lay off the gas, use the brakes, and keep it under 70.
But the Big Apple is doing one better and taking it up a notch, in that way that New York has of one-upping everyone else. The city’s new mandate exceeds the state’s requirement that middle and high school students take at least one semester of health education classes and calls for schools to teach one semester in the 6th or 7th grade level and again in the 9th or 10th grade level. Double the education, double the chances of success!
I know what you’re thinking: “Dr. Lynn, how does this fit into your message about safe sex education for older folks?” Actually everything! Stretch your imagination a bit. We desperately need the same types of programs for those over 50 who happen to be the fastest growing HIV/STD population in America. These are the same types of programs that adults need, not just in NYC. As I said, it’s a step in the right direction. Mandating sexual education courses in middle and high schools starts the debate on whether or not sex should be taught in schools, and adults are typically the ones having the debate. Therefore, the topic and the message gets out there that safe sex is still a major issue. Additionally, parents and grandparents become engaged in the conversation, both with one another and with their kids/grand-kids.
In the end, it’s half about the public fight for safe sex education for the children that “are the future” of America, and half about the actual in-class education. And any action to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases is one worth fighting for!
Link: http://www.vibrantnation.com/love-sex/sexual-health/i-heart-nycs-safe-sex-education-mandate/
June 20th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
A Letter I Wish My Father Could Have Read
by Dr. Dorree Lynn
From VibrantNation.com 06.20.11
Dear Dad,
You’ve been gone so many years, I can barely remember the number. Now, it is my children and grandchildren who call or write my husband or myself on these special occasions. How I wish you and I could speak in person now. With added years and understanding, I miss you more than ever. As we both acknowledged, you were not a present or very aware dad. It was another era. You and mom had issues of your own that, as a child, I couldn’t understand. All I knew was that I was often angry at your being gone, including during the war years, and that I adored you when I heard you speak. You had a voice that could mesmerize an audience.
I cherished those Saturday mornings we spent together and the baseball games we went to. Even then I understood you really wanted a son and had no idea what to do with a daughter. So, I learned “boy things,” especially to love the game, know every Yankee, Dodger and Giant player by name and though, at six, seven and eight I desperately needed that 7th inning stretch, I never moved from your side, my small hand grasping your larger one for protection. My favorite memory remains the times after the game when we would secretly stop for banana splits, just the two of us, and eat every last bite. It was our special secret that we agreed never to tell Mom.
Our relationship was far from easy and as a teenager I understand what a handful I was. A young girl of that era wasn’t raised to travel to far away places the way I did, make decisions that went against your wishes and dent more than one car as I insisted on driving independently. It is now after being a parent myself that I understand what a challenging young woman I was to raise. With a grandmother’s perspective I can say with Judy Collins I can see, “life from both sides now.”
One special gift that you gave me remains with me to this day. When I left my first marriage after many years, the first in our family to choose divorce, you reached out to me and said, “I know you are in turmoil, what can I do?” We sat for three days and talked adult to adult. Together, we shared secrets, laughed and cried. Finally we agreed that no, you hadn’t been the best father in the world. But, I answered your question and said, “You can be the best grandfather you can be.” As the younger generation now says, “You were awesome!” I will always be grateful for that.
I love you,
Dorree
Link: http://www.vibrantnation.com/our-blog-circle/dr-dorree-lynn/a-letter-i-wish-my-father-could-have-read/
Tagged with ache, audience, banana split, baseball, child, dad, daughter, decision, divorce, dodger, Dr. Dorree Lynn, Eat, family, father, Father’s day, giant, grandchildren, grandfather, grandmother, judy collins, life, love, marriage, memory, Now, parent, present, rat, teenager, time, travel, yankee.
June 20th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
Dear Dad,
You’ve been gone so many years, I can barely remember the number. Now, it is my children and grandchildren who call or write my husband or myself on these special occasions. How I wish you and I could speak in person now. With added years and understanding, I miss you more than ever. As we both acknowledged, you were not a present or very aware dad. It was another era. You and mom had issues of your own that, as a child, I couldn’t understand. All I knew was that I was often angry at your being gone, including during the war years, and that I adored you when I heard you speak. You had a voice that could mesmerize an audience.
I cherished those Saturday mornings we spent together and the baseball games we went to. Even then I understood you really wanted a son and had no idea what to do with a daughter. So, I learned “boy things,” especially to love the game, know every Yankee, Dodger and Giant player by name and though, at six, seven and eight I desperately needed that 7th inning stretch, I never moved from your side, my small hand grasping your larger one for protection. My favorite memory remains the times after the game when we would secretly stop for banana splits, just the two of us, and eat every last bite. It was our special secret that we agreed never to tell Mom.
Our relationship was far from easy and as a teenager I understand what a handful I was. A young girl of that era wasn’t raised to travel to far away places the way I did, make decisions that went against your wishes and dent more than one car as I insisted on driving independently. It is now after being a parent myself that I understand what a challenging young woman I was to raise. With a grandmother’s perspective I can say with Judy Collins I can see, “life from both sides now.”
One special gift that you gave me remains with me to this day. When I left my first marriage after many years, the first in our family to choose divorce, you reached out to me and said, “I know you are in turmoil, what can I do?” We sat for three days and talked adult to adult. Together, we shared secrets, laughed and cried. Finally we agreed that no, you hadn’t been the best father in the world. But, I answered your question and said, “You can be the best grandfather you can be.” As the younger generation now says, “You were awesome!” I will always be grateful for that.
I love you,
Dorree
June 20th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
The world of sexual aids is broken down into two categories: Toys and Tools. Men use toys, women use tools. This theory transcends sexual aids. Men love their toys, whether it’s cars, boats, video games, men love to play. Women, however, approach the idea of sexual aids in the same way soldiers approach objectives on a battlefield. For the sake of humor, let’s call it “Operation Orgasm.”
Walk into any sex store and peruse the walls and aisles looking at which products are designed for which sex. For men, you’ll find penis rings, sleeves, pumps, lubes, and plastic vaginas (if you venture into the gay area you can find anal toys ranging from beginner to expert, with “training kits” somewhere in between).
But if you go looking for products for women, you’ll find the intersection of science and sexuality. Products that seem to have been designed on the Starship Enterprise fill the walls and, often times, you have to cock your head to the side and use a little imagination in order to fully understand what the item is and how it is suppose to be used.
You may find items in a sex store that are designed to do things that aren’t humanly possible. Which is exactly my point. Because men are task-oriented, products for men are designed to be toys that “simulate” normal sexual experiences, whereas products for women are designed to be tools that “supplement” sex/masturbation by doing what a penis (or the man attached to it) simply cannot do.
Take the Rabbit for example. It’s a vibrator on steroids, complete with an extra appendage designed to stimulate the clitoris and beads on the inside of the fake phallus that rotate, all the while vibrating at 2,500 RPMs. A former client of mine once complained, “How am I supposed to compete with that? I can’t put a motor in my penis… I’ve talked to the Dr. and it can’t be done!”
So the question becomes, “What do we do with this information?” Let’s start by accepting the facts, and then move on to incorporating those facts into our sexual experiences. I’ve long been an advocate for sexual aids, especially for those over 50. We use hearing aids, walkers, and vitamins, why not use a vibrator or a Fleshlight once in a while? That’s actually part of what makes sex after 50 so great—we’ve lived long enough that we should be comfortable with sex, and at the same time we should have become bored enough with regular sex that we’re willing to kick it up a notch and try something new. The orgasm shouldn’t be the goal, but rather the journey to the orgasm… the giving of pleasure by one partner to the other, even if that means using a toy or utilizing a tool to get you where you want to be.
June 15th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
Men Have Toys, Women Have Tools
The world of sexual aids is broken down into two categories: Toys and Tools. Men use toys, women use tools. This theory transcends sexual aids. Men love their toys, whether it’s cars, boats, video games, men love to play. Women, however, approach the idea of sexual aids in the same way soldiers approach objectives on a battlefield. For the sake of humor, let’s call it “Operation Orgasm.”
Walk into any sex store and peruse the walls and aisles looking at which products are designed for which sex. For men, you’ll find penis rings, sleeves, pumps, lubes, and plastic vaginas (if you venture into the gay area you can find anal toys ranging from beginner to expert, with “training kits” somewhere in between).
But if you go looking for products for women, you’ll find the intersection of science and sexuality. Products that seem to have been designed on the Starship Enterprise fill the walls and, often times, you have to cock your head to the side and use a little imagination in order to fully understand what the item is and how it is suppose to be used.
You may find items in a sex store that are designed to do things that aren’t humanly possible. Which is exactly my point. Because men are task-oriented, products for men are designed to be toys that “simulate” normal sexual experiences, whereas products for women are designed to be tools that “supplement” sex/masturbation by doing what a penis (or the man attached to it) simply cannot do.
Take the Rabbit for example. It’s a vibrator on steroids, complete with an extra appendage designed to stimulate the clitoris and beads on the inside of the fake phallus that rotate, all the while vibrating at 2,500 RPMs. A former client of mine once complained, “How am I supposed to compete with that? I can’t put a motor in my penis… I’ve talked to the Dr. and it can’t be done!”
So the question becomes, “What do we do with this information?” Let’s start by accepting the facts, and then move on to incorporating those facts into our sexual experiences. I’ve long been an advocate for sexual aids, especially for those over 50. We use hearing aids, walkers, and vitamins, why not use a vibrator or a Fleshlight once in a while? That’s actually part of what makes sex after 50 so great—we’ve lived long enough that we should be comfortable with sex, and at the same time we should have become bored enough with regular sex that we’re willing to kick it up a notch and try something new. The orgasm shouldn’t be the goal, but rather the journey to the orgasm… the giving of pleasure by one partner to the other, even if that means using a toy or utilizing a tool to get you where you want to be.
Tagged with ache, aids, art, boomers, dorree lynn, Dr. Dorree Lynn, Eat, fleshlight, hearing aid, hearing aids, humor, love, lube, masturbation, orgasm, rain, rat, senior citizens, seniors, sex, sex for grownups, sexual aids, time, tools, toys, vibrators, video, women.
June 8th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
The Mystery Disease That Would Transform a Generation
30 years ago a doctor was confounded by symptoms he had never seen before. Cutting to the chase, he is credited with labeling the fist AIDS case in America for what it was: a horrifyingly carnivorous disease that took thousands of lives, initially mostly homosexuals, and started a revolution. Not only did AIDS research begin in earnest and result in life-saving gains, but same-sex partners pioneered health care breakthroughs that benefited a nation. It also paved the way for a previously underground and shamed generation of LBGT’s to open their closet doors, leave their shadowed existence with their heads held high (well in most states) and walk, work and live productively and lovingly among the rest of us.
But the challenge is far from over. Though great strides have been made to educate and provide support to this previously hidden population of young men and women, paradoxically, it’s now parents and even grandparents who have become the silent secret sufferers between the sheets. The world has flipped and now it’s mom, dad, grandma Lizzy and grandpa Luke who are at greatest risk. Condoms make a huge difference, but the older generation still thinks condoms are for procreation protection. Also, they have now become a new generation of daters filled with sex-sublimation and shame. Whoever thought that sexy seniors, once judgmental of the young, would be the fastest growing population in the nation to contract HIV/AIDS and other STDs? Men and women who are new to the dating scene are most at risk, and those suffering memory loss in retirement villages and nursing homes experience only a lack of inhibition, not desire or activity.
30 years later we have a new closet to open. One that is full of secrets that need to be shouted out loud. We need safe sex education for those least aware and most at risk–our venerated elders who, thankfully, remain sexy after all these years. A sexy, savvy senior myself, I plead on the behalf of all other seniors that we educate. Educate their grown children. Educate those afraid of the legal system. Educate America. Sex is our life-long birthright. Let’s use it and not lose it to disease.
Link: http://www.vibrantnation.com/love-sex/sexual-health/the-mystery-disease-that-would-transform-a-generation/
Tagged with aids, art, boomers, dad, Dr. Dorree Lynn, Eat, grown children, hiv, homosexual, memory, Now, rat, retirement, safe sex, senior citizen, seniors, sex, shadow, std, support, test, women, work.
May 24th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
Commuter Marriage
I’m in a long distance marriage. Some call it a “commuter marriage” but it’s long distance no matter what you call it. It has just as many drawbacks as a typical marriage where couples see each other every day, but it works if you work it. My husband and I have developed several ways to keep our marriage hot and heavy:
- We always pick each other up at the airport. While we work independently throughout the week, we alternate spending weekends together, and once a month we take a short trip together. Even after 7 years, I still get giddy while I’m riding the escalator waiting for his face to appear at the bottom of the stairs.
- Flowers for the Lady. When we met, my husband promised me “flowers forever.” In all that time he has only missed sending me flowers once, and that’s because he was on a business trip. Even my assistant knows to leave an empty vase on the table before leaving on Thursday afternoons!
- Dinner Every Friday. A benefit of a long distance marriage is that we get to spend the first night of every trip having a long, quiet dinner. This gives us an opportunity to ease back into our relationship by letting go of all of the things we’ve been doing and battling throughout the week. We catch up on each other’s lives and experiences all while flirting and touching at the table. By the end of the main course and the first bottle of wine, we’re ready to come home and have dessert.
- Frigerator Favorites. I always shop for my hubby’s favorite foods before he comes to visit and he does the same for me. It’s nice to know that when it comes to tasty treats there’s my husband and there are some real snacks in the refrigerator.
- Date Night. I’ll never understand why people stop dating once they get married. Date nights are when my husband and I enjoy each other the most…when we’re out and about, experiencing and sharing something we enjoy together.
For the record, long distance marriages suck–your partner isn’t always there when you need them, you’re not always there when you’re needed, and you can’t tweet intimacy. But like I said, it works if you work it. No, I don’t get to sleep next to my husband every night, but that only makes me look forward to cuddling up next to him every Friday even more! And spending a few days away from him during the week fuels my urge to run up and wrap my arms around him when he steps off the plane. Somehow we’ve managed to find a happy medium where we constantly fall in love with each other over and over again every weekend! How amazing is that?
May 16th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
“Bleep! Bleep!” Machines
Remember back to a time when Bleep! Bleep! machines were only found in hospitals, and looked like government designed robots from a pre-technology era, and if you were ever hooked up to a Bleep! Bleep! machine it was a bad thing because it meant you were only there to be monitored until your Bleep! Bleep! Bleep! turned into one long BLEEEEEEEEEP! and then you were dead.
But now, almost everything has become a Bleep! Bleep! machine, in the sense that everything around us is constantly beeping, ringing, dinging and vibrating. What’s more, in today’s society it’s frowned upon NOT to be connected to a Bleep! Bleep! machine of sorts.
Granted, not all of society is tech savvy, but they’re being forced to try. Last week at the grocery store I watched three people in front of me all struggle with the credit card machine. They didn’t know where to push, when to push, swipe to fast, swipe too slow….it has become, for some, a mental struggle to efficiently and effectively execute a grocery purchase.
But that’s just groceries and a plastic credit cards–we’ve been using those since the 1900′s. What about smart phones, laptop computers, web cameras, and digital video recorders and projectors? Imagine what all has evolved and been created in the last century. My grandmother never drove a car. Now my car has a “port” for me to plug in my “digital music player”…I just read somewhere that one of BMW’s newer car series has apps and you can listen to Pandora Radio while you’re stuck in traffic.
In 1935, American Kodak introduced the first modern color film, Kodachrome. For Christmas 2010, my husband bought me a fabulous 18 megapixel digital camera. I’m also wired to my Android, my MacbookPro and my iPod. My phone rings at me when someone calls me, my laptop dings and whoop-whoops when I’m doing something productive, and my iPod sings to me. These aren’t our granny’s Bleep! Bleep! machines. They’re our Bleep! Bleep! machines. They help us communicate, create, interact, express ourselves, and experience things beyond our physical grasp. They’re not longer symbols of impeding death, they’re instruments of our life!
Link: http://www.vibrantnation.com/our-blog-circle/dr-dorree-lynn/bleep-bleep-machines/
April 20th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
500 Orgasms a DAY?!?
Yes, it’s possible. And no, gentlemen, it’s not a trick you need to learn to provide to your lady friends. Persistent Sexual Arousal Disorder (PSAD), otherwise known as Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (PGAD) occurs when a woman experiences spontaneous, unwanted, unintended and uncontrollable genital arousal, with or without stimulation, and unrelated to feelings of sexual intimacy or desire. If you’re not following my drift, it’s an unfortunate medical condition.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “most women would be happy just to have one or two orgasms a day, what’s wrong with 500?” Well, first, who could manage it? Second, it’s uncontrollable, and that in itself makes it a problem. A woman would probably have to live hidden away and certainly would have no time to simply live life.
The symptoms and side-effects of PSAD/PGAD can go on for days and in most cases be debilitating and can keep a woman from focusing on even the easiest of tasks. Life as she has known it and would like it, stops.
From what is known about the condition, there is still a lot to learn about the disorder, it’s starts, stops and remediation. There is still no “magic cure pill” but doctors have found medical prescriptions to help alleviate the side effects, including antidepressants, antiandrogenic agents and anesthetizing gels.
I look forward to sharing more with you as science, sexologists and psychologists lear more about PSAD/PGAD. I anticipate both the the medical and alternative health communities will continue to explore this disorder.
If you have experienced PSAD/PGAD, please, I want to hear your story!
April 15th, 2011 § Comments Off § permalink
I’m Not Bi, I’m I
Perusing videos online I found one of Margaret Cho talking about sexuality. She said, “I’m not Bi, I’m I” and I think that’s just about appropriate! The line between gay and straight has become more blurred in recent years as women and men are finding it more acceptable to have non-sexual relationships with members of the same sex. One of my favorite new terms is “Bromance” which refers to a relationship between two straight men who are, for lack of a better expression, “best friends.”
“Friends with benefits” is another term I find appealing, although it can be used to describe a relationship between any gender couple.
As women age, statistically there has been a noticeable increase in the number of women who are turning to other women. When asked if this makes them lesbians, my answer is “No, this just makes them smart.” It has been proven that good relationships help people live longer, healthier lives. Since there are more older women than men, they are simply taking advantage of the ratio.
Sometimes women start out simply as travel buddies or as friends, saving money by sleeping in the same bed, and the next thing they know they are lovers. Seems pretty cool to me!
What do you think? Do you have a “best friend” that happens to be the same sex as you? Do you have a personal story about a “bromance” in your life or in the life of a man you know?
Do you have an opinion about anything I’ve said here?
Tagged with lesbian, sex, video.
