Out in the Meat Market Again: A Warning
One of the worst times to seriously date is when you or your date have just gotten out of a marriage or a long-term relationship. Suddenly there are no constraints and all that pent-up desire bursts through. If this is your situation, you can give yourself permission to frolic for a while, but put a time limit on it so you don’t spend the rest of your life playing the field, while actually feeling quite unsatisfied. Having fun with someone new at night, but waking up feeling detached and lonely in the morning, gets old after a while. Fishing is fun, but longer term, it’s time to look for a keeper.
If you find yourself dating one of these newly paroled singles, be sure you know what you may be getting yourself into and don’t delude yourself into thinking you will be able to change them before they are ready. At this early dating stage, another potential red flag is the newly separated dater who may be exceptionally needy and eager to latch on quickly to whoever will have them. Playing the role as someone’s transition object does not necessarily lead to good matchmaking down the road. So it is wise to find out how long someone has been on the dating scene and what they have been up to. Asking these kinds of questions, tactfully, on a first or second date is not intrusive or unreasonable. Proceed with care and respect, but do proceed. After all, this is your future we’re talking about.
