Forgive Me Father, for I Have Son’d
By Dr. Dorree Lynn
From YourTango.com
I’ve written articles for Father’s Day virtually every year for the last century, but this year I thought I would have a contest amongst my staff to see who could best tribute their father. The following Father’s Day Tribute was written by my Social Media Manager, Troy Evans. Enjoy…
-Dr. Dorree Lynn
“Forgive Me Father, for I Have Son’d”
Dear Dad,
I hope this letter finds you well and in good health. I’ve been doing pretty good lately, thanks for the gas money and the card last week. Since it’s Father’s Day again, it seems the least I could do for you on this day is to level with you on a few things.
I’m certain that when you and mom were filling out the paperwork to adopt your only child 30 years ago, your vision of who I would grow up to be and the man I am today are not the same person. I never became that sports-minded young man with a generous career, a gorgeous fiancée and plans for a house full of children. Instead, I’m a gay marketing and media expert who holds two jobs, rents a room on the far side of town, is single and has no desire to have kids of my own.
I’ll be honest, dad, I hate Father’s Day. It’s the one day each year that I really beat myself up for all the times I did wrong by you. To everyone else but you, I’m rather easy to get along with, but as with most sons and their fathers we never really communicate all that well. We have different views on different things and, being my father’s son, neither of us ever lets the other have any slack to work with.
But, whether you know it or not, I’ve been watching you a lot closer over the past 7 years. And while I may not have grown to become the man you dreamed I would be, I’m pretty sure you’d be proud of the values and lessons you taught me over the years and and how I’ve used them to make my own life, and the lives of those around me, more fulfilling.
All the times you told me to treat others with respect, regardless of the situation, has stuck with me. I try not to cuss in front of women, I hold doors for people, I say thank you and “yes ma’am” even though many of these Yankees take offense to it. I try to do right, to be good, and to help out others whenever I can.
You see, any anger or frustration I’ve ever had towards you… that was on me. I didn’t understand you for the better part of my life. But looking back I can clearly see that every action you made always came from the heart. And having seen how the general population handles most situations, I can assure you that you are of a dieing breed and one that I am utterly grateful to have experienced.
I’ve never seen someone do for others what I’ve seen you do. We’ve all heard the expression, “He’d give the shirt off his back to someone who needed it.” Well, I’ve seen you give the shirt off your back to someone, literally. When a member of the family’s house burned down, although that person had treated you and mom poorly, you didn’t hesitate to load up the trailer with beds, clothes, and food and take it to them without asking for so much as a dime or an apology. “It don’t matter,” you said, “you can’t just leave ‘em hanging high and dry.” That’s a bold move, dad, and you didn’t think twice about it. When someone was hungry, you fed them. When they were homeless, you housed them. If they needed a job, you’d either put in a good word for them or put them to work around the house.
When it comes to expectations, we all have them. And a lot of times we get upset when our expectations aren’t met, even if it’s something little like a waiter messing up an order, or when the coffee pot doesn’t work when it’s suppose to (or if it overflows for some strange reason like yours does when you’re not watching it brew). But when I think about your expectations for me and how I never will grow to be the man you once hoped, I’m reminded that you always accepted me for who I am, you always helped me out when I needed it, and you’ve always stood beside me shoulder-to-shoulder.
Real people don’t do the things you do, dad. And it took me 28 years to realize that you’re not a real person. You’re something more than a real person. You’re some form of an angel or something. I don’t know exactly what it is, but I do know that you’re one of a kind and that God had something to do with it. And while we may never be able to build something together without fighting over nails vs screws, or fix the golf-car without arguing over how good or bad my welding skills are, or clean fish without you complaining about me leaving too much meat on the bone, I’ll always keep with me all of the honorable traits you’ve taught me over the years. And while I may never grow to have a wife as supportive and loving as mom is to you, or a career like yours that spanned continents and decades, or a community that looks up to me the way everyone looks up to you, if I can be half, or a third, or a quarter of the man you are then I’ll still be better than most. Happy Father’s Day.
Love,
Your Son
Link: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/dr-dorree-lynn/forgive-me-father-i-have-sond
