The world of sexual aids is broken down into two categories: Toys and Tools. Men use toys, women use tools. This theory transcends sexual aids. Men love their toys, whether it’s cars, boats, video games, men love to play. Women, however, approach the idea of sexual aids in the same way soldiers approach objectives on a battlefield. For the sake of humor, let’s call it “Operation Orgasm.”
Walk into any sex store and peruse the walls and aisles looking at which products are designed for which sex. For men, you’ll find penis rings, sleeves, pumps, lubes, and plastic vaginas (if you venture into the gay area you can find anal toys ranging from beginner to expert, with “training kits” somewhere in between).
But if you go looking for products for women, you’ll find the intersection of science and sexuality. Products that seem to have been designed on the Starship Enterprise fill the walls and, often times, you have to cock your head to the side and use a little imagination in order to fully understand what the item is and how it is suppose to be used.
You may find items in a sex store that are designed to do things that aren’t humanly possible. Which is exactly my point. Because men are task-oriented, products for men are designed to be toys that “simulate” normal sexual experiences, whereas products for women are designed to be tools that “supplement” sex/masturbation by doing what a penis (or the man attached to it) simply cannot do.
Take the Rabbit for example. It’s a vibrator on steroids, complete with an extra appendage designed to stimulate the clitoris and beads on the inside of the fake phallus that rotate, all the while vibrating at 2,500 RPMs. A former client of mine once complained, “How am I supposed to compete with that? I can’t put a motor in my penis… I’ve talked to the Dr. and it can’t be done!”
So the question becomes, “What do we do with this information?” Let’s start by accepting the facts, and then move on to incorporating those facts into our sexual experiences. I’ve long been an advocate for sexual aids, especially for those over 50. We use hearing aids, walkers, and vitamins, why not use a vibrator or a Fleshlight once in a while? That’s actually part of what makes sex after 50 so great—we’ve lived long enough that we should be comfortable with sex, and at the same time we should have become bored enough with regular sex that we’re willing to kick it up a notch and try something new. The orgasm shouldn’t be the goal, but rather the journey to the orgasm… the giving of pleasure by one partner to the other, even if that means using a toy or utilizing a tool to get you where you want to be.
