Question: My wife and I have been together for 20 years. We are in our late fifties. She is rarely interested in sex. I think most of this is due to stress and I think her inability to focus on us. I would like to get her away for a weekend and get a masseur for her to have a sensual massage. Something similar to a spa type massage but not as clinical or as vanilla. Hoping this will relax and excite her somewhat so we can enjoy ourselves afterword. What are your thoughts on something like this. Of course I would make sure that our get away would include other things that she enjoys.
Dr. Dorree Says: You sound like a pretty cool and innovative guy. I love your ideas. In my view, hotel sex is best. A nice dinner, some good music and a night in a hotel often works wonders. However, before you assume her lack of interest in sex is due to stress, I wonder if she’s been through menopause and if her libido is low and lacking. I would certainly urge her to get her hormone levels tested to ensure that the issue is not physiological.
Also, what do you mean by stress. Personal or relationship stress? Perhaps she needs more from you–more conversations, more I love you’s, more you emptying the dishwasher. Studies have shown that emptying the dishwasher is a surprising aphrodisiac.
Other than that, I encourage you to follow your own ideas and have a great getaway trip. Chocolate and flowers are a nice touch. And remember that foreplay begins with “I love you” in the morning.
