Sex Talk
You, your grandkids, and the new world of STDs
By Dr. Dorree Lynn
From Grand Magazine 09/10 2011
Click to see screenshot from GrandMagazine online.
Talking to your grandchildren about safe sex and STD prevention might not be the easiest thing in the world, or at the top of your “bonding with my grandkids” list of things to do, but it is necessary and appropriate in 2011. HIV/STDs are more prevalent than ever and having “the talk” with your grandchildren might be uncomfortable but it could save their life.
Grandparents have an “in” with their grandkids in a way that parents don’t. Grandparents are the ones who love more than they reprimand, and the generation gap alone gives your stories and lectures an angle that can capture their attention while allowing you to implant some wisdom in their minds that will stick with them in the future. Use your age to your advantage—you have the wonderful gift of history out of which you can tell stories to your grandkids that are absolutely foreign to them.
For example, one of my clients recently said his grandson had complained that condoms “didn’t feel good” during sex. To which my client replied, “If you think they don’t feel good now, you should try the condoms we used to have in the 40’s: rabbit skins and rubber bands!” Can you imagine the shock on his grandson’s face? Regardless of the humorous response, it was a bold statement that will stay with his grandson forever.
So what’s appropriate and how do you approach this kind of conversation? You approach it the same way you approach any advice-giving conversation: Level with your grandkids. Don’t overload them with information (details about your sex life aren’t necessary). Keep the conversation normalized and never tell them more than they’re interested in. Just make sure to focus on these three main points:
- Nobody is too special, too perfect, or too beautiful to catch an STD…typically it’s those who don’t think they can get it and don’t take the precautionary measures that end up with a love-bug.
- You’re not telling them not to have sex, you’re teaching them to be smart and proactive.
- Condoms are a must. Not just for STDs but for pregnancy too. And the life they save may be their own.
Bottom line to the conversation: You can’t stop them from playing, but if they’re going to play, play smart.
Where can I get the best info?
- CDC.gov/std/stats/: STD statistics
- STDHELP.org: STD prevention, education programs, resources and community forums
- TalkWithKids.org: How to talk to kids about various topics, including sex, HIV/STDs, and violence
- And as always, you can submit questions through DrDorreeLynn.com
Link: http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110910_v3/index.php?startid=44
